Hate Crimes


I always understood that white straight males had the advantage in this country. Maybe all you politicians didn’t get the memo when you discriminated against me with your “equal opportunity” and “affirmative action” bullcrap. Now hate crimes, too? C’mon!

In all seriousness, I just wanted to take a quick second and thank all the moron politicians who voted for hate-crime legislation. Now, for some reason, it is more grievous to commit crimes against people who aren’t straight and white. WTH! My life is worth less now because I’m pasty and I don’t sleep with dudes. Awesome.

I’m glad you’ve all finally figured out that the only reason black/brown/yellow/gay/etc people have crimes committed against them is that they’re different from their perpetrator.

What I can’t figure out is this: Am I not a politician because I’m too smart….. or to dumb? Hmmm.


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